FOP Leader Handbook

Learning is an essential component in building community and elevating human potential. As a leader, you have the ability to make FOP a powerful learning experience for your FOPpers. Processing is the term used to describe the methods used to encourage individuals to reflect on, describe, analyze, and communicate their experiences. We have thousands of experiences every day, but we only learn from the ones we notice and process.

Why Process?

• To stimulate learning and growth

Each day FOPpers will be experiencing new things: learning new hiking skills, outback cooking skills, people skills, and environmental skills. It is valuable for us to reflect on our new skills, knowledge, and feelings in order to internalize tm. A FOPper may think of themselves as non-athletic yet have a breakthrough experience while hiking up a hill they didn’t think they could get up. If the FOPper has the time and space to reflect on that breakthrough (especially in a situation where others are able to notice the achievement as well), they may begin to forget the old message: “I’m not athletic” or “I am not capable.” And internalize a new message: “I am athletic” or “I am capable.” FOP provides opportunities and experiences for the FOPpers to stretch and grow. Processing the FOP experience helps to internalize new messages and promote new learning.

• To create a positive group environment

A FOP trip is a dynamic experience that will provide opportunities for learning on many levels. The abundance of social and physical challenges brings up fear, anxiety, anger, exhilaration, camaraderie, joy, and many other emotions. FOPpers may have a variety of reactions to the stress brought about by challenges. Some FOPpers may get angry and moody, some withdraw, some get lonely, some may feel detached or deny feeling anything, but FOPpers are likely to have a combination of reactions to their experiences. Left to stew, these emotions can cause conflicts or rifts in the group. Bringing reactions and feelings out into the open allows opportunities for deeper understanding of the issues operating upon the group. Understanding often leads to resolution and a deeper commitment to a positive group environment.

• To make space for individuals to share and speak uninterruptedly as the experts of their own experience

While FOP trips strive to be supportive, engaged communities that together face and process a variety of challenges and experiences, they are also composed of individuals with a diverse and unique set of experiences, perspectives, and identities that they held long before Aloha Day. In each processing activity—not to mention the whole trip—remember to explicitly norm respect, active listening, and the lack of a single “right” answer or response. Every member of the trip is the expert of their own experience, and processing creates a unique opportunity for individuals to speak about their experiences openly and uninterruptedly. Throughout FOP, it is essential to remember and recognize that the outdoors—let alone Harvard and the United States—has historically not been a safe, accessible space for many identities. As leaders, we have a responsibility to create space for all foppers’ identities and for them to share their experiences if they are comfortable doing so. While processing can be a powerful form of expression, sharing, and validation, by no means should we ever force individuals to share, especially if they still do not feel safe expressing them.

When to Process?

It is important to have a structure that allows FOPpers and leaders to stay ‘current’ on issues. Having evening meetings, using “No Discount,” Chow Circle, and trail breaks are all great avenues to establish consistency and structure for processing. Ultimately it is up to you and your co-leader to set times for processing - recognizing that it is often best to process when the experience is still fresh. It IS possible to process too much, so remember that sometimes it’s best to let the trip speak for itself.

How to Process?

Don’t ask the big questions first. Sometimes it can be overwhelming to process things deeply right away. Build up to it by starting with easier questions. A good model to follow is this progression: What happened? So, what does that mean? Now what?

Solos

Solos are any designated time in which the members of the group take time to themselves to go and find somewhere to sit quietly on their own and reflect. They usually last for a leader-determined pre-set time of anywhere from 5 minutes to several days - although on FOP trips it would be unusual to conduct one for more than an hour or two (#TwoDaySolos!). It is surprising how effective and worthwhile a short 15- or 20-minute solo can be when well-situated within a day’s activities.

Solos fill an important role in your processing toolkit, but they are also more than just processing - they are a time to rest, slow down, and be alone on a trip during which the leaders and participants have very little space and time to themselves. The time spent alone, in addition to being soothing mentally and physically, is a perfect time to reflect on the trip so far and on what is still to come. Often leaders will find that the group gets along better after a solo break, emerging energized and excited to be together again, and that FOPpers will clamor for a daily solo once they have had their first taste.

Managing the timing and framing of a solo are tantamount to its success. Possible times are at a summit, beside a lake, after some significant event that can be reflected on and learned from, or when the group has just arrived in camp. Solos can also happen on the trail. Leaders can space FOPpers on the trail out by a half minute or so and have them walk in relative solitude to achieve a similar effect. Be creative - this is very much a “feel it out” sort of thing. Times when you might not want to conduct a solo include when it would not be safe and when the group is feeling particularly close or a group processing activity would be more effective. Of course, combining a solo with a group processing activity before orafterward could be very effective! UYJ! (Use your judgment!) Choosing the proper length for a solo might also seem tricky, but any time spent alone will be productive - don’t worry too much. Twenty minutes is plenty, thirty is a treat, and even five can get the job done if you are feeling pinched.

Framing a solo well can help the group and individual FOPpers grow and can build on themes the leaders want to emphasize. Possible themes include self-worth, nature, “the journey”, challenge - you name it! Choosing a quote to read to the FOPpers before you send them off into the woods is often an effective framing technique. Additionally, you might use a solo as an opportunity for FOPpers to write down their goals for the coming year, what they want to carry with them after the trip, fears for Fear in a Hat, or a letter to themselves to be opened at a later date.

One thing to keep in mind about solos: they do not only have to take place in the woods! Solos can be done anytime you can zone out and just be alone in the world - by the river on a sunny day, in a secret library spot with a pretty view, or in your dorm room. In teaching your FOPpers how wonderful solos can be, you are giving them a skill they can use throughout their life to collect themselves, slow down, and reflect. Make sure they know this—there are many times during first year in particular when deep breaths during a 20-minute solo can do a whole mountain of good.

When conducting solos, keep the following logistical guidelines in mind:

• Have one leader stay put throughout (at a central, known location), and inform the FOPpers where that leader will be.
• Have a communication system in place beforehand to deal with any emergencies.
• Be aware of the solo locations of all FOPpers. Usually this will be within 50 meters of the leaders’ location.
• Solo participants should not move (other than to return to base camp) once they are settled.
• Supervise (and check-in if a longer solo), but in the least obtrusive manner possible.

Evening/Summit Meetings

Set aside time in the evening for a group assembly. You should try to meet every night unless there is an exceptional circumstance. There are many ways to structure the Summit so that it meets the needs of your group. Some days you might want to keep it light and playful, and other days you may get into more direct, involved, and deeper discussion. In general, you want to start in a less intimidating “sharing” mode and progress toward taking more risks and promoting full and open communication.

Some leaders like to differentiate between Evening Meeting and Summit meetings, saving a Summit for special processing time, with Evening Meetings being less intense. Other leaders might never officially designate a processing time, and instead process as they see fit throughout the trip (see below). Leaders have a lot of latitude as to how meetings are set up and formed. What is expected is that every evening FOPpers will have an opportunity to share some processing of the day’s events and to discuss the next day’s activities. You’ll want to talk about the day’s schedule, options for activities, what’s for dinner and so on. Remember, it’s their trip, they deserve to know what’s going on, and they want to be involved in the decision process.

Set ground rules for summit/evening meetings. You can mandate certain rules or have the group develop them. Consider these general ground rules:

• Confidentiality: No one else’s experience is talked about outside the group unless it is an issue involving the safety of the group or a member of the group.
• Listen to others and listen to yourself: As the Quaker principle goes, each person holds the truth within him/her/zirself.
• Sharing by Choice: No one should be pressured to reveal things about him/her/zirself. A group member may always choose to pass.

Follow a Progression

The real skill in group building is in correctly reading your group, understanding their needs, knowing where you are in the group process, and then responding with the correct type of intervention. For example, doing intense feedback exercises in the beginning, before FOPpers know each other, is probably going to turn the FOPpers off, and, maybe worse, undermine their trust in you. On the other hand, there may be times when issues are straining to reach the surface, and doing an appreciation circle would be very frustrating to FOPpers needing to discuss more intense problems.

In the beginning of your trip, FOPpers will probably be more inclined to open up if the exercises are oriented toward sharing “safe” information about themselves - common information they regularly share with new friends. As the group members become accustomed to one another, and an atmosphere of trust is established, then sharing can progress to a higher level, with FOPpers revealing more of themselves to the group. Remember: this is not group therapy! It’s important for group leaders to keep the topics of sharing from getting too personal and tragic - be sure you can handle the topic you open up. The sharing has more to do with understanding the FOP-per as he/she/ze operates in the group, and less to do with the details of a troubled home life. That said, FOPpers are not isolated from their former memories and experiences while on the trip, and just because something is hard to share and sad does not mean it is out-of-bounds. To understand a FOPper in the group the group might need to understand tough elements of the FOPper’s past.

Here are some suggestions for processing exercises corresponding to the typical stages of group development:

• Forming: Initial name games, light-weight sharing, and goal setting.
• Storming: Group problem solving activities, group sharing exercises, appreciation circles, comfortable feedback, facilitating conflicts with round tables, self-awareness exercises.
• Norming: Re-evaluating group goals, sharing exercises, group problem solving activities.
• Performing/Transition (to life at Harvard): Comfortable and uncomfortable feedback exercises, appreciation, reaffirming feedback.

Processing at Will: The Flexible Evening Meeting

Some groups, and even some leaders, respond negatively to the idea that every evening they have to get together to “debrief the day,” or “talk about deep issues.” If leaders are turned off by having to lead evening meetings, and FOPpers are dreading the next time they have to “talk about all this serious stuff,” then evening meetings are nearly worthless. If your group whines and complains every time you bring up group meeting, be flexible. Plan to do evening meeting type activities at different times during the day, catching FOPpers when they’re full of energy. Do an appreciation circle at the end of the trail, or over lunch. Circle up at a regroup and do a check in; have them say something as they take a treat. Perhaps this lighter technique might better suit your group. Sticking with the daily meeting may also get your group used to coming together for discussions and open the door for Summit meetings.

When thinking of the specific technique you want to use to frame your evening meeting, some genres of exercises to consider are:

• Goal Setting: Part of orientation.
• Goal Tending: A way to review group goals and evaluate progress.
• Forums: Different ways of eliciting FOPper comments.
• Feedback: Techniques to get FOPpers to talk on a “real” level with each other and the leaders.
• No Discount Policy: A FOP standard, encouraging a positive group atmosphere.
• Appreciation: “Pat on the back” exercises.
• Problem Solving (Initiatives): Some basic team building exercises that can help bring FOPpers together.
• Ceremonies: Candle pass, blessing of the packs, T-shirt feedback, bandanna game, final debrief.
• Sharing: Designed to get FOPpers talking about themselves and learning about the other FOPpers.

Processing Activities

Do remember that much more important than the question you pose to the group or the way you get them talking is ensuring that you’re maintaining the principles behind the processing conversation. That said, here are some techniques that are tried and true FOP favorites (feel free to think of your own). Some of the more game-esque activities can be used to pivot into a discussion.

• Five-minute autos: Have everyone sit together and go around sharing 5-minute autobiographies. Frame it as the things you would share with someone so that they knew where you were coming from, who you are in this moment, and where you hope to go. In appreciation of everyone bringing an equally valued experience to the activity, the time limit is kept more or less strictly and if anyone finishes before the five minutes are up, the group sits in silent appreciation for the remaining time.

• M&M/Skittle/Starburst Questions: Pass around a bag of candy and tell each person to take 1, 2, 3 or more pieces depending on how long you want the activity to go. Assign a question to each color and require each person as you go around the circle to answer the question for one of their pieces of candy. A game that can have high stakes or low stakes. Examples of questions with increasingly high stakes:
  • What do you like to do in your free time?
  • What’s something that people don’t know about you that you wish they knew?
  • What is your favorite place in the world?
  • What is your pet peeve?
  • Who is your role model?
  • If you had to choose one person in the world to describe you, who would it be and why?
  • When was the first time you felt like an adult? See the diversity section of the handbook for questions within this activity that are more geared toward conversations around diversity within personal experience! Also try “30 Questions to Fall in Love.”

• Hot Seat: The whole group sits in a circle, and each person takes a turn in the “Hot Seat.” The group then asks that person a set number of questions. You might throw in similar questions to the ones for Skittles questions, but its up to the group what they want to ask.

• Active listening: Pair people up. One of the pair members will start as the speaker and the other will be the listener. The speaker closes their eyes and talks about whatever crosses their mind for 5 minutes. The listener remains silent and keeps track of the time. Switch roles after 5 minutes.

• Kick-Ass/Ass-kicked: Participants tell a time when they got their ass-kicked (were disappointed in themselves, etc.) and when they kicked-ass (felt proud of themselves). Hot Seat: One participant is in the center of the group and others may ask them whatever questions they want. They are not required to answer.

• Letter to self: Have your FOPpers (you can join in!) write letters to themselves. You can do this at the beginning of the trip and give them the notes back on the last day. Or, you can do it on the last day and send them the letters sometime during the year.

• “I Come From” Poems: Give the group five minutes to write or think of three statements beginning with, “I come from…” that describe elements of their identity and background. After each person shares their poem, they can elaborate on their poems briefly and share how the elements they have shared play into their identity and why they value them.

• 3 Values: Everyone shares three central values that they hold and explains why these values are central to their identity and how they live those values in their interactions and life.

• Read the readings in the handbook: Choose a summit or meaningful moment. Encourage FOPpers to do it. Ask a FOPper to select a reading at each Chow Circle or to start the day to share with the group. The process of searching for a quote and sharing it has a positive front-loading effect on the group.

• Turning Over a New Leaf: Have everyone stand on a personal tarp and turn it over without touching the ground. Keep folding the tarp and ask the group how many folds they think they can do and still turn it over. This can be really frustrating and groups often fail, so keep an eye out for frustration levels. Alternatively have everyone’s feet touch the tarp. Fold it and ask the group how many folds they think they can make. Often the group will surpass its predictions as people come up with creative solutions.

• Rose, Bud, Thorn: Have each person share their Rose (high), thorn (low), and bud (what they are looking forward to tomorrow) from the day (a favorite simple exercise to get FOPpers to open up about both their day and their general experience on the trip) or their lives more generally. A variation of this is “Start – Stop – Continue” where each person articulates what they would like to have “continue” happening in the group or for themselves that is currently happening, what things that they would like to see “stop” from occurring, and what they would like to see “start” to happen that hasn’t been occurring.

• Identity pictures; Have each person draw a picture of who they are right now. In pairs have your partner interpret what they see in your picture; the drawer is not allowed to change anything! This may be done as a large group with the person to the right or left holding up the picture and interpreting for the group. After all interpretations are done individuals may then share what was true about interpretations that they didn’t intentionally put in and what was missed.

• 3 People: Have each person list 3 people who have significantly altered the course of their life and explain why. Could be an important teacher/mentor, a peer, or even a stranger who was a catalyst.

• Group Unification Devices: Use some sort of Group Unification Device (GUD) to represent all the things in your group contract. This can be similar to the bracelets or it can be some communal item. You can even write your group contract on your GUD.

Fear in a Hat

Fear in a Hat, an oft-used activity on FOP trips, allows FOPpers to express their thoughts and fears about their upcoming transition into college. The activity was originally brought to the FOP community by former director, Brent Bell, who collected FOPpers’ responses as part of research investigating social networks and pre-orientation programs. Although research collection has ceased, many FOP groups still appreciate the benefits of this activity.

This activity typically lasts an hour or more, so the group should be warm, well-fed and ready for some discussion.

The Set-up or Briefing of the Activity

“This activity looks at some of our fears concerning college. It is called Fear in a Hat. It provides an opportunity for us to talk about real fears shared in this group in an anonymous manner.

“I will hand everyone a piece of paper and a pen. You will have a few minutes to reflect upon how you are feeling about going to college and to write down one of your biggest fears. Do not write your name or refer to yourself, the fear should be anonymous. Even if you do not mind disclosing your anonymity, it helps to protect other people’s anonymity by not naming your own fear.

“Once everyone has written down a fear, a hat will be passed around the group. Everyone will place their ‘fear’ in the hat. The fears will be mixed up, and then the hat will be passed around the group again. Each person will pull one fear out of the hat and read it out loud to the group. The group will then have time to discuss the fear, see if others identify with it and offer advice or understanding. After discussion, the format is repeated until all the fears in the hat are read out loud and discussed.”

Variation: if you’re short on time or worried about the responses of your FOPpers, you can alternatively respond to the fears just as leaders, rather than passing the fears around. This gives you the ability to read each fear first and choose to either read it, pass on it, or create your own as if it were written there, helping to keep the discussion appropriate generally as well as to the group mentality at that time. In addition, if you go through all the fears first, you can group them into categories, allowing you to address similar concerns all at once (saving time).

Hints for Discussion

• This activity can be powerful if the group takes it seriously and is willing to have discussion on other people’ fears. When a group does not take it seriously, it may be best to gracefully bow out of the activity and try to reframe it later.
• Sometimes the discussion will focus too much on solutions, or superficial optimism. If one of the fears is “flunking out of school” it may be better to recognize that these things do happen and offer support rather than denial of anyone in the group could ever fail at anything.
• As a leader, you can add questions and/or comments to move the discussion along:
  • Has anyone here ever felt this fear?
  • Do others recognize this fear?
  • Maybe there is no solution to this in the context of the activity, but I am glad it is out in the open where we can be sensitive to such a fear.

Overall

This activity is not a problem solving activity as much as it is an activity where others tend to identify with other members of the group. I remember one group where a fear was read about not being accepted by the group, after discussion it was discovered it was the biggest fear among every group member - being left out when transitioning back to campus. Such a recognition of fears will inspire resolution, but the primary purpose of the activity is to promote understanding. Make sure the fears are heard and recognized.

Fuzzy Cheesecake

Fuzzy Cheesecake is a traditional final-night activity for FOP groups, a time to celebrate all that the group has accomplished, to recognize bonds that have been formed, and to express appreciation for the individuals on the trip. Leaders have a variety of ways of presenting and executing the activity; please consult the following list of ideas and recommendations as you decide how you would like to frame your trip’s version of this special activity.

Preparation

Many leaders like to present the cheesecake as a surprise to their FOPpers and thus choose to be secretive as they prepare the dish. The cheesecake and pudding need time to cook and set, so factor in this time as you plan your schedule for the evening. Consider cooking the cheesecake as your FOPpers set up the tarp or bear bag.

Cooking Instructions

• Stir crust mix, 5 tablespoons of melted margarine in the frying pan until crumbs are evenly moistened. Press crumb mixture firmly against side of pan and onto the bottom of the pan.
• Pour the cheesecake mix and 1.5 cups of cold milk/water into a Nalgene or into the plastic bag. Shake/mix. (Refrigerate for an hour.)
• Spoon into crust.

Situating the Group

Fuzzy Cheesecake has the potential to be a rather lengthy activity, so make sure all of your FOPpers are warm and comfortable. If it’s a nice night, consider doing the activity outside your tarp. If conditions are such that you and your co(s) decide to do the activity under the tarp, be aware that some FOPpers may drift off during the activity and that it may be harder to situate FOPpers in a circle.

Formatting the Activity

The basic format of Fuzzy Cheesecake involves trip participants giving each other compliments and feeding each other big spoons of cheesecake. There are a variety of ways to coordinate this, however, so decide with your co(s) what is best for your group.

• If a group is pressed for time, leaders may choose to do a cheesecake chain: person A compliments person B who compliments person C, etc. until each trip participant has both fed and been fed. You should decide whether you want the train to be organized or whether you would like FOPpers to be able to pay a compliment to whomever they choose.
• Other leaders decide to have each FOPper pay a compliment to every other trip participant. Again, you should decide whether you want one person to be “in the spotlight” as each other trip member compliments them or whether you want each person to take turns complimenting every other participant.

Factors to Consider

• Do you and your co(s) want to specify that leaders are part of the activity?
• How would you and your co(s) handle unexpected comments or FOPpers who either disengage in the activity or seem reluctant to pay compliments to other FOPpers?
• Do you want a leader to begin the activity in order to model the tone and depth of the activity?

The Final Check-in

One of the goals of FOP is to create an environment that is open to feedback and honest conversation. If there are FOPpers who are especially interested in getting feedback or more fully processing the trip, you and your co-leader can meet individually with FOPpers during the last few days of your trip. The object of this meeting would be to find out how the FOPper’s trip was, to receive feedback about your performance, and to give some tactful and constructive feedback to the FOPper. In giving this option to the FOPpers, let them know that it wouldn’t be a “gripe” session. Rather, it’s chance for them to bring closure to the experience, reflect on their trip before it’s over, make amends, and feel that their voice has been heard. This is not a chance for you to rip into somebody. If you are particularly frustrated with a FOPper, let your co-leader lead the meeting. The feedback should be given with the idea of helping the FOPper to make the most out of the remaining days.